I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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