yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize