its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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