I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize