They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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