I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize