yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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