Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
