i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
