Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
