sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
