Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Help. Why am I so naked?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
