So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
