I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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