Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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