How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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