did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
