I should be sponsored by Trojan
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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