now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
