What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
