garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
