question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
