marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
