Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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