i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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