Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize