too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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