He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
