You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
