that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
