Just fell off a train. Bad.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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