So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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