Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
