Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
