Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
