I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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