and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
