Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
