Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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