There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
