so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
