weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
