Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
