i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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