oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
