Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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