after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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