Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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