Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
