I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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