3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
