I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
