Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
