I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
