Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
