Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
