living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I will pee on everything he values.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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