Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
