But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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