I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
