my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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